WHAT’S THIS BLOG FOR?! →
Like our friend Stunt (the names have been and will be changed until I figure out how I feel about putting people’s real names in), whose story I don’t want to share with people who don’t know it, but it is a mix of pain, mistakes, bad fortune, and perseverance all bundled together for enough warmth to get through the winter (what the what?). Stunt came out of nowhere Saturday night, and brought his big brother, (I forget his name). I got to talk with his big brother for about 20 minutes. It was amazing. He gave me a lot of simple, simple wisdom, (stay humble, stay close to God, don’t get ahead of yourself, etc., etc.). His openness really made my night. He had a rough past with a lot of mistakes and more regrets. But he has a few kids, and from the sound of it, they are all doing great, and somehow, most of them attribute it to their father.
He would ask them, how is it that they were able to grow and mature and become real men and women despite his behavior and poor example. They would tell him, “you always taught us, and always told us how to live, and how to love, and we learned from you even though you weren’t learning from yourself.”
That kind of amazes me. The grace God showed on his family, to not grow resentful or bitter towards him or God for talking the talk without walking the walk.
It reminds me of Fish, an ordained minister, fiery preacher, and humble servant. An addict nonetheless, and a liar who consistently runs from all forms of friendship and fellowship to ensure his high. When he’s around though, he cries in repentance. Is stone cold silent in conviction, and one of the most encouraging men we meet out on the street. He’s one of my best friends, and I know that’s not something that would be reciprocated. I’ve learned more from him than most pastors I’ve met, and his knowledge of the scriptures is remarkable. But his love of the world, and addiction holds him back so much. It’s terrifying and encouraging to see.
I was just thinking about that this past saturday- Stunt’s brother, and Fish are proof that God uses us, and loves us, and seeks us, regardless of our past mistakes, present sins, and future sufferings.
I want to have those eye’s, the eyes God has. I’ve met a lot of people the past two years doing this. And I had met a lot of people before doing this too. I don’t think it’s that the people changed and are now more deserving of my amazement or love, but I think that it’s God changed me. I see (both from the homeless dudes on the street, and just my weirdo friends who come with) that all life is a gift, and all life is a joy. It is beautiful, and I want to cherish every laugh, whisper, lesson, story, adventure, and mistake, and look at the person not as a semblance of what they have or have done- but as Christ sees them: greater than himself. I guess my prayer for us, or at least myself right now is, that we would have eyes to see the absolute, unmistakeable beauty and joy in all people at all places through all times.
I wonder how different my life, and CB’s community would look like with those eyes.
This is a kind of a vague, strange, highly conceptual and less story-like entry, but I’m a little tired don’t really know what this blog is supposed to look or sound like any ways…