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Its that longing in the deepest parts of my body, mind and heart. I couldn’t put my thumb on it until last night- that feeling of emptiness, that feeling of parched, starved, great vacancy within me that just overwhelmed me- and I just wanted to go to church.
I wanted to go to church. I just wanted to go to church. But it was Monday- and church wasn’t coming for another six days. I had gone to church the day before, I had read my Bible, prayed and was still in intimate interaction with God. But yet I still felt empty. I wanted church. That communion with believers. That sharing of experiences and leaning upon eachother for strength.
I was emotionally and spiritually drained. After a long week of juggling school, work and the multiple visits from friends from family these past few days, I had to give up some of the time I usually spend in communion with the living saints. Namely CB. I thought I could do it- I’ll just go to CB next week. I’ll see them in school, I’ll see them around, we’ll talk.
I didn’t realize how much CB really does for me until I couldn’t go. It’s Church. It’s really Church! Sure we don’t have a building, or a pastor, or elders, or an offering- but it’s Church! There’s no worship band, or standing and sitting, or hymnals or sound booths- but it’s Church! We’re church. And I missed it. I missed out on Church.
I feel strengthened after CB, it energizes me, it gives me LIFE. Why? Because of the shoulder-against-shoulder ministry and simple worship of God. Because we bring all of who we are into the light and say- this is truly who I am, and all I am- can you use me? Because we’re a motley crew of college-agers, and yet we believe of ourselves, that we are NOT too young to do something for the kingdom at hand… Christ is our identity, and service is just the outpouring of that.
I just want to go to church. This week I’m going to be spending my time with the worship music cranked up, my Bible on my lap, and my hands lifted up. But on Saturday I’m going to get up, dust myself off, and go to church.